Not Just Killer Tables!

I took on a huge project, at such a bad time.. I half regret the choice, to build it.. But, the outcome is is pretty fantastic!

Probably the toughest build yet, and definitely the longest.. Not because of design or lack of skill.. It's just that I had people coming to view the house.. Documents to sign.. Open house.. Ugh. It was just bad timing. My own fault. And had I known.. I would have waited, until after the move.

That being said.. I know the client, and wanted to get this big bastard done! She'll love it. Assuming it fits in her truck.. I so, hope it fits..


This exact model is certainly not available, by the way.. It's definitely one of a kind.. However.. That being said. I will most likely have a similar model, once I am back up and running.. Maybe a bench / coat rack.. With storage.. Maybe.. I don't know yet!

Did I mention the house is sold?!? Sell with Keller Williams. They are very dedicated and knowledgeable! Not your average slithering, shifty Realtor.

Thanks Michelle and Rob! <3

Escape from London

My time in this city is quickly reaching it's joyous expiration date. Killer Tables will inevitably be packed up, and buggered off, to another location. Good times!

Will I miss London? I dunno.. I met some pretty awesome people here.. But, there's certainly no shortage of weirdos, either.. I only hope the normal, human folks don't mind a quick burn down the highway, to visit the new shop. <3

Down to business:

My absolute, very last custom order is out the door! From here on, there will only be "inventory" coffee tables. That's 4'x22"x17"H  standard. There's just no way to guarantee the pickup location of a custom order, at this time.. And I am going to avoid that argument, like the bleeding plague.

Sorry, if that's a bit of a bummer.. It's just how things is. We'll inevitably get over this sadness and move on with our lives, though. I promise. Things will turn around for you. They will.

Keep an eye on the blog, for updates on the workshop location though. I'll keep you all posted!

New shop?

There's absolutely no guarantee that this is going down.. I mean, the offer has been accepted. Financing won't be an issue.. But, I am a pessimist. So it may blow up, at any moment! 

Nonetheless..

This could be the new Killer Tables, Killer Workshop.. Maybe.. If things keep going along smoothly.

There's a ton of room, for killing and tabling.. Despite my lousy photography skills. So, I am hoping that this will boost production! As well as offer some storage space.. Maybe some sponsor banners.. Who knows! But, I've sure got a lot empty walls, for advertising. ;)

The downside to all this, of course.. Is there's no production as of lately. Several people have been asking for tables.. And there's just nothing I can do. Which is killing me.. All this damn free time and nothing to table! I need to table! But, I can't even..

Getting Started

Okay.. I know what you're thinking.. How the heck does an author land himself a successful furniture "business." Going from writing, to woodworking? That doesn't make any damn sense at all!

And you're right. I never would have imagined myself as a carpenter.. Although, my father would be presently surprised, I am sure. As well as his father. Both of whom were fully certified carpenters. With their fancy book learned trade papers and all! Not me though. I can't stand the abhorrent taste of tuition, on my tongue. It would ruin the whole experience, for me. Entirely!

So, I skipped school.. Skipped the loans and debt.. And now? I am making a name for myself.. My popularity is growing, due to my low cost, high end looking furniture. I mean.. There's no real difference, aside from how the builder values his time. I am just being more realistic.

So what kind of investment did I make? Roughly? Well, I needed to make straight cuts. So I bought a $20 mitre box, from home Depot.. A couple of nails.. A hammer and about $20 worth of lumber. That takes care of the building process. What about stain? A hunk of steel wool and a few cups of vinegar. That's it. The whole thing started with a few bucks and a little patience.

Now I've got a whole plethora of RYOBI tools, and gadgets.. Saws, stains, fans, and filters..

The best advice I can give, for anyone looking to get started?

-It might not work out. So don't get carried away, with buying tools. Start small.

- Don't over estimate your value. Whatever amount of time you put into a project, is Irrelevant to the consumer. Price realistically.

- If a customer doesn't like a piece, made specifically for them. They're either looking for a freebie, or they have far too much free time. Drop them, immediately.

- Some people are just fucked, and should be avoided at all cost...

Bang on my tables!

My coffee table are so sturdy, that you can bang on them!*


*Please don't bang on furniture, before purchasing.


*Structure strength of furniture may vary, based on your size.

*get your mind out of the gutter..

Slow day, good progress

Despite the miserable weather, I manage to get Mr. Big table's big table, into the final staining process. Which is surprising, considering it's size! I am definitely under charging, for this beast. I really hope he likes it!

The rain had me in and out of the house, all day.. Just when it looked like the sun was going out.. Downpour! So, I gave in, and did the staining inside.. Not in the basement. Because, the table is too big for lugging around the house.

I need a workshop..

Dragon house!

Here's and oldie, but a goodie!

This is a project that I had done a while ago. Enjoy!

Before

It started with an armoire, destined for the landfill. It seemed to have run its course. An obsolete cabinet, designed for an obsolete style of television. Game over, you big, ugly waste of space..

But wait.. Recycle!

After drawing out some horrible plans, I immediately gave up on planning. The only way I would get this done, is by recklessly diving in. No guides, or foolish diagrams to hold me back. It's DIY anarchy!

Then my wife stepped in and told me what color to use.. Which started me off in a specific direction. So, it's off to the hardware store! And then Walmart.. Then back to the hardware store!

This is mostly a Home Depot project. Although, I did end up getting the light fixture and Mod Podge from Walmart. But, only by chance. Had I found a sealer and cheap light at Home Depot, I would have shopped there exclusively, for this project.

That being said.. I have since found a better, cheaper solution to Mod Podge. Stocked at Home

Depot, is Minwax Polycrylic non-toxic, water based sealant. Knowing this, I would definitely suggest substituting the Mod Podge, for Minwax. It's reptile safe, once dry.. So, give it a few days.

Materials used:

Free, donated, or already owned.
Shitty armoire
Stone basking tile
Dome basking light
Dragon

Purchased for project
Stone flooring - $ Home Depot
Paint - $27 Home Depot
2 paint brushes - $2 each
Mod Podge - $30 Walmart
Plexiglas - $32 Home Depot
Sliding track - $3 Home Depot
Light fixture - $20 Walmart
2x2 lumber - $2 / 8 feet Home Depot

Tools used
Measuring tape
Drill and driver bits
Ryobi one+ drill
Ryobi one+ fan
Ryobi one+ circular saw
Ryobi one+ spotlight (painting at night)
Ryobi one+ shop vac
Yeah, I have a thing for Ryobi tools..

Step one, was to rip the bastard apart and set everything aside. Most of the painting was done inside, because of the armoire's weight. And thankfully, this acrylic paint didn't give off any weird fumes or toxins. It wasn't ideal, but it worked.

Although the paint dried surprisingly fast, I still gave it a day, before applying the Mod Podge. This stuff is messy, expensive, and smells like a kindergarten class, during craft time. I really wish I had known about the Minwax sealer, prior to this step.. But, that's just bad luck, I guess.

I used a tub and a half of the horrible Mod Podge, which worked out to about 3 coats. 4 along the sides, where I felt the dragon may regularly brush against. Each coat was left for an hour or two, drying with the aid of a couple fans.

Once the miserable process of sealing was finally out of the way, it was time to mount the lights! The strip light was a cinch. I simply screwed it at the back of the top shelf, dead center. Nothing fancy, here. But the dome light isn't made for this kind of enclosure.

There was a lot of silly attempts, to hang the light, without drilling a hole.. But, in the end, I used the little clamps, that come with these types of fixtures. Well, half of the clamp.. Instead of fixing the hardware to the actual clamp, I tightened it onto a long bolt. The bolt was tightly fit into a hole, drilled near the strip light. Then, for added "No fally" protection, I applied a nut, onto the end. That thing ain't goin' nowhere!.. Excuse my double negative..

Aside from painting the doors, I didn't do anything to them.. Just screwed them back in place.. Originally, I was going to cut windows into the door. But, instead, i left them solid. That way, if I want to hide the dragon, from prying eyes.. I can easily close him off, from the world.

Which leads us to the sliding door!

I had some idea of how I was going to do this. But, not really. I knew that I was going to have two sliding Plexiglas doors.. The rest was a little bit of walking around Home Depot, looking for anything useful.

Eventually I spotted these plastic things, bending high above me. I still have absolutely no idea, what they are.. But they only cost $3, for a strip, measuring 8 feet. It's solid enough to hold the doors, and easy to work with. I used a hand saw, however. I felt that the circular saw may produce some level of shrapnel danger.

The bottom track is held to the main flooring, of the unit, with Mod Podge. It's staying there, pretty solid, for now. Though, it may need added support at some time, in the future. The top of the sliding doors is a a length of 2x2, cut to fit the armoire. Once painted and sealed, I used a few nails to hold the track in place.

The 2x2 itself, is held in place by a couple of thick screws. I drilled the holes first, using slightly larger drill bits on the armoire. This leaves the board sturdy, in place, yet it can still be twisted in place. This is important, because not only are my doors a bit big. But, at some point, I'll definitely want to remove them, for cleaning. This technique makes it much easier than taking the whole thing apart.

What's coming up?

I've been working fairly hard, in the shop, lately. Which has been even more enjoyable, thanks to my new RYOBI toy. If you follow me on Twitter, you've likely seen the adorable picture of my son, screaming into my RYOBI shop fan.. Well, that picture was cause enough, for that wonderful tool company to send me a One+ radio!

Which was fairly incredible of them.. Really. <3

Okay, okay. So more killer tables. Yes! My inventory has been virtually exhausted, by demand, lately. But, I have a number of great products coming up! Very soon, I may add.

Be sure to check back, regularly.. Because, I love posting pictures of these things! And, if you see anything, you want. Act fast. These don't last long at all.