Not Just Killer Tables!

I took on a huge project, at such a bad time.. I half regret the choice, to build it.. But, the outcome is is pretty fantastic!

Probably the toughest build yet, and definitely the longest.. Not because of design or lack of skill.. It's just that I had people coming to view the house.. Documents to sign.. Open house.. Ugh. It was just bad timing. My own fault. And had I known.. I would have waited, until after the move.

That being said.. I know the client, and wanted to get this big bastard done! She'll love it. Assuming it fits in her truck.. I so, hope it fits..


This exact model is certainly not available, by the way.. It's definitely one of a kind.. However.. That being said. I will most likely have a similar model, once I am back up and running.. Maybe a bench / coat rack.. With storage.. Maybe.. I don't know yet!

Did I mention the house is sold?!? Sell with Keller Williams. They are very dedicated and knowledgeable! Not your average slithering, shifty Realtor.

Thanks Michelle and Rob! <3

Escape from London

My time in this city is quickly reaching it's joyous expiration date. Killer Tables will inevitably be packed up, and buggered off, to another location. Good times!

Will I miss London? I dunno.. I met some pretty awesome people here.. But, there's certainly no shortage of weirdos, either.. I only hope the normal, human folks don't mind a quick burn down the highway, to visit the new shop. <3

Down to business:

My absolute, very last custom order is out the door! From here on, there will only be "inventory" coffee tables. That's 4'x22"x17"H  standard. There's just no way to guarantee the pickup location of a custom order, at this time.. And I am going to avoid that argument, like the bleeding plague.

Sorry, if that's a bit of a bummer.. It's just how things is. We'll inevitably get over this sadness and move on with our lives, though. I promise. Things will turn around for you. They will.

Keep an eye on the blog, for updates on the workshop location though. I'll keep you all posted!

Officially Listed

So, after a month of comfree, circumstances have suddenly expedited our need to sell. Luckily, we had a fantastic Realtor, already lined up.. Which helped us to weed out and eliminate the slithering snakes, disguised as real estate agents.

The choice was obvious. And easy.. Shifty pricks.

Not to discount the effectiveness of comfree.. I would have been happy, sitting on the property, a while longer. But, doors were opening and closing, much too fast, for the slow lane.

My only real concern, is the lack of online visibility, to local realtors.. So I am told. Comfree really needs to pick up their heels, on this. Listing my property in a city, 2 hours away, with an entirely different (and uninterested) market, is definitely not a conducive use of my hard earned dollar.. Get it together, guys.. Local listing. Figure it out.

All blathering rants aside. I am currently listed with Keller Williams. Full, unhindered Realtor.ca listing. It's only been a day, on the market, and we have some interested prospects! Things are now progressing smoothly.

Oh. And we should have a new location very very soon. Tillsonburg.. Hope you like rustic furniture!

Lazy Tables

What ever happened to Killer Tables?? The blog isn't updated anymore.. Wtf, Kevin?!?

Relax.. I am still here.. Calm down.. Simmer... RELAX!

Okay.. So! I've been super busy with not only building great furniture, for you folks.. But, once again, hunting down some great real estate! Which has been tremendously exhausting.. The long drives, across the damn province..

Across the province.. That's right. Killer Tables is moving! To a less populated, smaller town.. With less potential for a volume based business..

But, Kevin.. That sounds like a silly move, to make at this point..

Yup.. But, I am not a furniture builder for the money, remember!? So relax! I just really enjoy working with wood.. Hopefully I'll still get a large volume of clientèle. Sure.. It would keep me busy! Which is the main focus. Keeping Kevin out of trouble.

Okay.. Fine. Where the bloody is the new shop?

I am getting to that.. The new shop looks like... Tillsonburg!

St Thomas?

Shut up! I said Tillsonburg.. It was going to be in St Thomas.. I know. But, circumstances change. I apologize. St Thomas would certainly have been the ideal location for this breed of craft.. But, things just didn't work out that way. It's unfortunate.. I guess..

So! Look out, Tillsonburg! :D

Killer Workshop, Killed

Well.. We lost the new house, dammit. Someone bid, without the pending sale of their house. So, we got bumped out of the game. It's fairly safe to say, by now, that it's lost. I guess.. Unless they die..

No.. I am a little bummed.. Maybe a tad malicious.. But, not discouraged. We'll find a great place. And I'll build a workshop if I need to. I am good!

Once there's a reasonable offer, on my condo, I'll continue my pursuit of the new HQ. Until then, it's business as usual.. Except for the weekly open house.. That really slows things down.. It will all be over, soon.. Rest assured. And the future of KillerTables will hold tables for everyone! :D

Customer Appreciation

Customer Appreciation day, in any company, is mostly a bullshit way of pretending to care about the hardworking clientèle.. Really, it's the investor's that appreciate you. And by you, they clearly only care about your cash! At the end of the day, you're either a dollar amount, or you are Irrelevant.

So, how am I different? Well, for starters.. I looked at what my competition was selling, and created a similar product, at less than half of their price! I didn't do that for me, did I? Hell no. That one's for you. I know you guys love this rustic furniture stuff.. And it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that I made someone happy!

There's no unlawful, or shady business going on here. The building supplies are all newly purchased, from a local businesses. The reason I can sell things cheaper than everyone else? Realistically valuing my own time.. Builders seem to feel entitled to an outlandish salary, for something anyone can do. All you need is a few bucks and access to the Internet, where you'll find countless, free tutorials.

Or, my own instructional account of getting started.

It's important to appreciate customers, every day. Not just their money.. But, their sense of satisfaction. Take pride in your work. When your client's face light up, it will all be worth it.. And stop overcharging. My clients can afford to come back, and buy more.. And they do! Do yours?

Back in business

After a brief absence, in the tabling game, I've return! As you may know, we're selling the condo.. So, I had to keep the place clear, for photos and walk throughs.. The place is still not sold.. But, I can keep the place reasonably clean, for anyone wanting to view the house.

And God damn, this place won't sell fast enough.. Krystal (the wife) had been stressing, because no one's bought it, during the first week.. It's Comfree.. It's going to take some time.. Calm the hell down!

I am not worried.. Though, I am pretty excited about having a new shop. A better shop.. Soon... Soon..

So! Tables! Let's do this! - Sold out

Well.. That was short lived.. More tables, coming soon!

New shop?

There's absolutely no guarantee that this is going down.. I mean, the offer has been accepted. Financing won't be an issue.. But, I am a pessimist. So it may blow up, at any moment! 

Nonetheless..

This could be the new Killer Tables, Killer Workshop.. Maybe.. If things keep going along smoothly.

There's a ton of room, for killing and tabling.. Despite my lousy photography skills. So, I am hoping that this will boost production! As well as offer some storage space.. Maybe some sponsor banners.. Who knows! But, I've sure got a lot empty walls, for advertising. ;)

The downside to all this, of course.. Is there's no production as of lately. Several people have been asking for tables.. And there's just nothing I can do. Which is killing me.. All this damn free time and nothing to table! I need to table! But, I can't even..

Upgrading workshop

Maybe I am a little early for assumptions.. But, it seems the local market, here in London, is after an expensive price tag.. So much so, that the object of desire is less important than what it costs.. Call it bragging rights.. Call it snobby.. I don't concerns myself with your preferences. It's not my bank account. I am just trying to help out.

The majority of my clientèle is split between students and non-londoners.. Which is strange.. But, I am perfectly okay with that! I love students. There's no confusion, when it comes to them. They're after something that looks great, at a reasonable price! I love it. So, why leave? Well.. It's time for an upgrade!

That's right. I am going to upgrade the shop. Or.. As my wife calls it; "Buy a nicer house." Whatevs. I get a better shop.. Whatever it's attached to, is a bonus. Just give me my power tools and mandatory naughty calendar, an I am set.. Why do shops always have that swimsuit calendar? Ever notice that?

My new head of operations should be much more better, for the clients I am after. Let Londoners spend foolishly. But, I don't want you folks burning hundreds of dollars on something that I can easily reproduce, for less. That would be unethical! And noncompetitive..

Sometimes you get what you pay for.. And sometimes you just find someone who enjoys making people happy. I insist that you take advantage, before the freaks swarm in, and shatter my generous nature.

Now.. Let's have fun and make some Killer Tables!

Er. Scratch that. I am banned from making tables. Wife's orders.. At least until the house is sold.

Vacation

I am back to being optimistic about my hobby. We went for a quick little vacation, in Port Stanley. Holy crap. It was so nice, and relaxing..

The place was a fun little spot, right on the beach, called The Beach Hotel.. Or, more visibly known as, The Buccaneer. Which was the name of the restaurant. We got this weird package, called the "Romantic couples" or something squishy, like that.. A little pricey.. But, it was one of those "all inclusive" deals.

The inclusive steak was deliciously under-cooked, at dinner. Although, my wife wasn't entirely pleased with the amount of blood.. I certainly was. Luckily, the liquor and pie made up for her disappointment. As it always should.

It felt good, eating a really satisfying meal, and walking off, knowing the bill is covered. The super friendly waitress surely liked our generous appreciation. I don't even mind that she forgot my coffee.. Yes, I was drinking coffee.. I don't consume alcohol. I am a good boy! ;) 

There were only a dozen rooms, at most, in the hotel.. Most of which had minimal luxury.. And that's pretty much exactly what we wanted. That's not to say it was a hole in the ground. By no means. The bed was very comfortable, with no bed bugs! The shower was nice.. I was a little bummed out about the lack of coffee maker, though. At least we had a little fridge! Of, and the TV may have had cable, I dunno.. We brought a few dvds.. And our portable dvd player.. Which is good, because, the dvd player in the room had no remote.. :(

All in all.. Great little spot. Right on the beach! Sand blowing right up against the door to our room. I loved it. I am going to check it out again, for sure! 

Getting Started

Okay.. I know what you're thinking.. How the heck does an author land himself a successful furniture "business." Going from writing, to woodworking? That doesn't make any damn sense at all!

And you're right. I never would have imagined myself as a carpenter.. Although, my father would be presently surprised, I am sure. As well as his father. Both of whom were fully certified carpenters. With their fancy book learned trade papers and all! Not me though. I can't stand the abhorrent taste of tuition, on my tongue. It would ruin the whole experience, for me. Entirely!

So, I skipped school.. Skipped the loans and debt.. And now? I am making a name for myself.. My popularity is growing, due to my low cost, high end looking furniture. I mean.. There's no real difference, aside from how the builder values his time. I am just being more realistic.

So what kind of investment did I make? Roughly? Well, I needed to make straight cuts. So I bought a $20 mitre box, from home Depot.. A couple of nails.. A hammer and about $20 worth of lumber. That takes care of the building process. What about stain? A hunk of steel wool and a few cups of vinegar. That's it. The whole thing started with a few bucks and a little patience.

Now I've got a whole plethora of RYOBI tools, and gadgets.. Saws, stains, fans, and filters..

The best advice I can give, for anyone looking to get started?

-It might not work out. So don't get carried away, with buying tools. Start small.

- Don't over estimate your value. Whatever amount of time you put into a project, is Irrelevant to the consumer. Price realistically.

- If a customer doesn't like a piece, made specifically for them. They're either looking for a freebie, or they have far too much free time. Drop them, immediately.

- Some people are just fucked, and should be avoided at all cost...

Bang on my tables!

My coffee table are so sturdy, that you can bang on them!*


*Please don't bang on furniture, before purchasing.


*Structure strength of furniture may vary, based on your size.

*get your mind out of the gutter..

In with the new

I know the new business model isn't ideal, for you.. But, it makes things easier for me. Giving me the freedom to built what I please. Rather than running down a list of orders, prioritized by deposit and urgency.

My clients are very understanding and sympathetic to my concerns, thankfully. So we've come up with a new way of doing things..

You can request whatever design, model, colour, race, breed.. Whatever you want. Then I'll get back to you, when I feel there may be something in stock, that I feel you'll be interested in.

These precautions are to protect my hobby, as well as my family. There's too damn many weirdos out there, for me. And I can't have those freaks getting under my skin. Let's just build some affordable furniture, and be happy.

The only thing I ask of people buying my furniture.. Don't be a crazy person.. Please. No drama. Just money, tables, and we can be friends.

Empty space

It's not very often that I get such a huge area of free space! Thanks everyone, for picking up your orders. Now,  I'll have to work on filling it, with more tables. Especially with the students coming back. I'll want to stock up on espresso coffee tables!

But, not today! I am spending the day with my son. Maybe tomorrow, we can get a few tables into the paint shop. Which is nearly ready, after...

Oh yeah.. I still haven't unveiled the mystery piece.. I know someone knows what it is! You'll just have to wait! It's going to be a masterpiece. I can see it already!

Okay. Back to coffee and babying.

Another day at the office.

I've been working pretty hard on a new project.. I am really excited about it, actually! Unless that's the paint fumes, again. Actually, I've never really noticed how pretty the color of this room is..

Ah, Er.. Never mind.

So, a young guy came by and put a deposit on something really big.. So big, in fact. I am not entirely sure I can get it back up the steps! So, what is it? Well, I am not gunna bloody tell you! You'll just have to wait, and see.

In other news.. I am just about cleaned out, again. I just can't keep an inventory. Sam Walton would be proud.. I am destroying the competition, with lower prices! And, I am not even ordering anything, from China!

Made in Canada

And, lastly.. Everyone decided to pick up their furniture, on the same damn day! All within about twenty minutes from one another. Two clients even passed by each other, in my little condo complex.

How to table.

First, I measure the wood.. 

Then, I cut the wood.. 

Then, I sit on the toilet..
Wait.. What??

Back to work!

I know.. I've been slouching, on my updates.. Well, my son just turned 2 this weekend! So, I've been a little preoccupied.. And, I was trying to keep the house reasonably clean.

It was a lot of fun, and people seemed to really like my furniture.. So much so, that I even made a sale! That's fun. Sometimes, you just need to see these things, in person. My stuff looks good.. But, in person.. You really do need to stop in and see it!

And I forgot about buying those LEDs, for upstairs.. Bugger.. Don't let me forget!

Inventory

These are my most popular items. The espresso coloured coffee tables.. I am thinking of keeping a small inventory of them. That way, if someone wants one.. There's no waiting.

The only problem is.. Sizes will not be customizable.. It's a trade off. Maybe..

Bad lighting

If you've been to my place.. You know about the terrible lighting I have, over the dining area. This needs rectifying, immediately!

I put some cheap LED bulbs downstairs, in the shop, and it's made a miraculous difference. Everything looks so much better.. Until I bring it upstairs..

It's a work in progress folks.. I am still learning. Bare with me.

Deposits

With the growing number of orders, I guess I should explain the deposit policy.

The main reason for a deposit, is insurance. When someone is building something, to another person's specifications, there's no guarantee that the item would be desired, by anyone else. Thus;

All deposits are non refundable.

It costs money for building supplies. And that is what the deposit is primarily for. To cover at least, some of the supply cost.

If a project has not yet been started, a deposit may be considered for refund. But, once the project has begun, there's no opportunity for either party to refund money. Not builder, or buyer.